thoughts

I just realized that Kate McRae is less than a month older than Elizabeth. Just makes it that much closer to home, you know?

Ugh. I hate the fact that she's got this brain cancer. I hate the fact that she's had to spend so much time in the hospital. I hate the fact that she's suffering so much. I hate the fact that her family's suffering so much. Why does cancer have to exist?

I can't imagine what her family's going through. I wish I could give some kind of comfort, some kind of wisdom, some kind of something... just anything. But nothing. Our family prays for them, we also pray for Kate specifically, but I wish we could do something tangible, something immediate, something to make it just magically disappear. Relying on God's timing is so hard. Relying on God's wisdom is so hard. And Kate's cancer, in the grand scheme of things, doesn't really affect our family on a day-to-day basis. I mean, they live what, 500? 600? miles away from us? The last time we saw them was a year ago, and it was quite coincidental. We now live in a different place from when we knew them. They now live in a different place as well. So why is it that I'm thinking about her constantly? Wondering how she's doing, wondering what she's doing, wondering if she is finally able to speak fluently the thoughts going around in her heart, wondering if she is finally able to get her right side moving? Why is it that I personally feel so affected by Kate's cancer? Does it offend her family that I feel this way? Does it offend them that I'm even thinking this out loud, in a (somewhat) public forum?

I don't know. I feel like a dork for thinking these thoughts. But oh well, they're my thoughts, and they're my blog. Take them or leave them. But whatever you do with them, please please please continue to pray for her and her family. Keep checking the Caring Bridge website for updates so you'll know how to specifically pray for her.